theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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