Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
