Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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