You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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