You really coming over, don't trick.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
