People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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