My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
