We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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