Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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