you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
