these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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