i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
