The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
