Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
