Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize