is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
