I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
