i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you win again, gameday.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
