I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
