hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
