True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dicks are not precious.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
