Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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