Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
