I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
