Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
