god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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