Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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