hotel room ftw
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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