Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
