I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
