Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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