She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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