I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
