I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Alive.
So much puke
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
