Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
