maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
