Did you just see the Batmobile???
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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