I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
