If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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