Where is the hickey?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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