i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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