So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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