We're like a lot better than the average bears
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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