You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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