I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
