This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
