what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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