Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm too high and old for this...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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