it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
