Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
