make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
