Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I forget how to act sober
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
