My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
