just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
